


Longing

by niel4ong



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Jaehwan feels, M/M, failed attempt of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2018-12-02 12:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11509701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niel4ong/pseuds/niel4ong
Summary: Life is being unfair to Kim Jaehwan. How could he possibly be in love with two guys at the same time?And the said two guys he's in love with are basically in each other's pants.Or where Kim Jaehwan makes his own life miserable.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A prologue/teaser to my first multi-chapter story, and of course... the first time I challenge myself to write such story.  
> It'll have about 4 or 5 chapters, I guess. We'll see how it goes~  
> More characters to come, and more tags to be added!
> 
> English is not my mother language so forgive me for any mistakes!  
> Any help with proof-reading is very welcome~

The birds chirp.

Kang Daniel sits, leaning his back against the tree.

Ong Seongwoo sleeps, resting his head on his lap.

And Kim Jaehwan serenades everlasting love songs for the world with his truly angelic voice, sending Ong Seongwoo deeper into his dream. And the fact that Kim Jaehwan never fails to bring his guitar literally everytime everywhere amazes Kang Daniel ("This is the only way for people to look at me in awe," Kim Jaehwan once reasoned when Kang Daniel questioned him about it).

"What time is it?" Ong Seongwoo asks, eyes still shut tight.

"Go sleep more, there's still a lot of time, Hyung," hands never stop caressing his hyung's arm, stroking the older gently to offer some comfort.

The oldest of them is indeed in need of proper rest. His weeks had been packed with photoshoots. He was started modelling for a part time at first, when his best friend Jonghyun-hyung introduced him to the agency his friend is working at, the company took a high interest of Seongwoo that he's more than a part timer now. Offers are coming in more and more as people in the industry got to know Seongwoo through his previous jobs.

Kang Daniel is sincerely happy for his hyung. Hell, if not he's probably the first and only die-hard fan of Ong Seongwoo. He supports Seongwoo with all he has, everything but he just wished that his hyung would take a better care of himself. It's kind of painful whenever he notices that Seongwoo keeps losing weight.

Despite his efforts to make Seongwoo eat more, damn he'd even brought Seongwoo to three restaurants in less than two hours when he got his pay for backdancing a local singer in town, but Daniel can't keep his eyes on Seongwoo during those times the older leave his side for few days or weeks of business trip.

"Mhhm-mmm," comes Seongwoo's incoherent mumble as he shifts into a more comfortable position, and Daniel looks down at him lovingly, smiling brightly as if he's the lukiest man on earth to have Seongwoo sleep on his lap, completely ignoring the fact that his legs are numb.

"No wonder people always think you guys are dating," Jaehwan says, no harm in the way he's saying it, at all.

Daniel looks up to meet eyes with Jaehwan's. "Oh, you have no idea," is all Daniel's answer to Jaehwan's previous statement. And Jaehwan doesn't feel like pushing it further. He doesn't want to interfere with other people's business.

But no, deep down he knows that he's afraid to know.  
Because he sees that the two of them have what he really wants. More than anything he ever hoped for in his entire life.

It is something he can't achieve.  
Not in this life. Not in this universe. Jaehwan knows that much.


	2. Chapter 1 - The Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is being unfair to Kim Jaehwan. How could he possibly be in love with two guys at the same time?  
> And the said two guys he's in love with are basically in each other's pants. 
> 
> Or where Kim Jaehwan makes his own life miserable.

No matter how he thinks about it, it’s unfair.

He knew Ong Seongwoo long before Kang Daniel did. If he’s not mistaken (anyone, correct him if he’s wrong), it was him who introduced the two of them. On his first year, he was invited to the infamous Nu’est party by Minhyun-Hyung himself who holds the party along with his other four roommates.

He didn’t expect that he’d met campus celebrities at their party and it was actually the first time he ever came to a party. It was awkward, to watch people dancing to the music, grinding their bodies against whomever they meet on the floor (living room, actually). It really wasn’t his thing, not even now.

But he never regretted coming, because he’s curious by nature, wanted to taste such a wild party at least once during college. If anything, he’s grateful and glad to come, if it meant he could meet the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen on this planet (not that he’d ever seen any on the other planets).

The beautiful thing was sitting on a black leather sofa, surrounded by a bunch of four or five other handsome men. Beer was on his hands, he sipped it every once in a while in between chattering and laughter. Jaehwan just couldn’t help but staring at him.

So intensely that he didn’t realize the most beautiful thing had left his nest and came closer to… him.

“Is there something on my face?” the most beautiful thing asked. But he didn’t even wait for Jaehwan’s answer and offered him suggestions instead, “Handsomeness, manliness, prettiness, hm, what else?”

“…moles?” Jaehwan offered nonchalantly. He was being honest though, even in this dimly light room and three meters distance, he could notice the three moles on his left cheeks.

The most beautiful thing just smiled (damn so charmingly and Jaehwan noticed he faked it though), “They’re drawn. Not real ones. Sorry to disappoint you.”

Curious by nature. God forgives him.

He stretched out his arms and caressed the said fake three moles, rubbing them gently to test out if they were really fake like their owner claimed them to be or not.

“They don’t disappear though. What drawing pen were you using?”

“Thaaat’s…” the most beautiful thing seemed to give it a thought, looking for the perfect answer that would shut Jaehwan up. Eyes locked into Jaehwan’s, trying to stay cool but failed nonetheless. He chuckled and shook his head, and offered his hands for a handshake.

It took Jaehwan by surprise, but he couldn’t let this chance go, “Kim Jaehwan.”

“Kim Jaehwan,” the most beautiful thing repeated his name with his soft, glossy lips. And he mentioned his own name, “Ong Seongwoo. Not Hong. Not Wong. It’s Ong.”

“Ong,” jaehwan smiled, and joked, “Ongkay!”

And the most beautiful thing, Ong Seongwoo, looked at him with a murderous look, only Jaehwan could tell that the guy actually found it funny too.

This lead the most beautiful thing, oh now he got his name, Ong Seongwoo to ask him his age and turned out that Seongwoo is a Hyung by one year. Knowing that he's older by a year, Seongwoo asked him to show some respect, which Jaehwan complied by emphasizing the word 'hyung' after he mentioned Seongwoo's name.

That night, they exchanged phone number. Just in case. _Just in case_.

But neither of them actually made the call.

It’s ok. It’s alright.

Jaehwan’s life went on, and was actually occupying him. His vocal practices, assignments and homeworks, now his part time job demanded a little more attention from him. He had to give training to the new part timer his coffee shop had had just hired: a pink haired handsome boy, Kang Daniel.

The guy, despite the fact that he’s majoring dancing, was a little bit clumsy at his work and it’s pretty hard on Jaehwan’s part because he had to clean up the mess every time Daniel screwed up. Knowing that he had caused a lot of trouble for Jaehwan, the guy was sincerely apologizing and it was kind of a nice gesture of him and Jaehwan couldn’t get seriously mad at him (or it is actually his specialty? To manipulate people with those charming smiles of his?).

His failures were soon forgotten because since he was working here, new customers kept coming in (most of them are girls, and almost all of them are noonas) and Jaehwan couldn’t help but notice how smooth his interaction with all of the customers and he himself was actually captivated by Kang Daniel’s charm?

Getting to know Kang Daniel better is actually one of good things happened in his life. Kang Daniel always smiles and seems to know how to brighten Jaehwan’s day when it’s been nothing but gloom. Whether Daniel does it on purpose or not, he knows how to make Jaehwan feel better about everything. He eventually finds himself growing fond towards Kang Daniel. They’ve been hanging out around a lot, like really a lot, and for the first time in his college life, he could call someone a best friend.

But something has changed his fate and he doesn’t know how to stop himself from drowning deeper and deeper into the mess his heart has created when Seongwoo walked in to the shop with his loose white shirt that he let the top two buttons undid, navy-blue ripped jeans that fit his slim thighs, and a sunglasses. He looked ridiculously awesome like he’d just came straight out of a fashion magazine (or porn magz, at this rate, because his sex appeal is no doubt illegal for his own good!).

“Oh, it’s been a long time!” Seongwoo greeted him as he took off the sunglasses, making sure Jaehwan to remember his face, but he’s actually able to recognize the man just perfectly fine even if he’s wearing sunglasses.

Jaehwan gaped and tried his hardest to hide the blush on his cheeks. His effort to flash a dazzling smile in return of the perfected teeth smile from Seongwoo turned out pretty awkward so he hurriedly cleared his throat, _ehem_ , and said, “Oh hey, you from the party, yes it’s been long and…” Jaehwan trailed off, blamed him for being so damn nervous and ended up with cheesy line like, “…you look great like a shining star as always.”

Seongwoo chuckled and it actually did something strange on Jaehwan’s stomach. Then their small conversation at the register ended up getting longer that they had to move on the other side. Thankfully there’s not much customers coming in at that time and he wouldn’t get scolded by the store manager for having a little chat with a customer right?

But then Kang Daniel entered the area and Jaehwan didn’t know why he feel like he just caught red-handed cheating on his best friend, if there’s cheating in friendship (what a weird relationship he has). He felt the need to explain this situation so he ended up introducing the two of them. “Seongwoo-hyung, this is Kang Daniel, my co-worker here and is a dancing program student and Daniel, meet Seongwoo-hyung, err… he’s majoring ‘capture everyone’s heart at Nu’est party’.”

“Hey! Is that necessary??” Seongwoo half-heartedly protested but no one really paid attention because Kang Daniel was busy admiring Seongwoo just like Jaehwan did the first time he met the older. And Jaehwan was too busy observing that the youngest of them had fallen in love, fell so hard that it’s all written on his face.

Later that night, his phone beeped. For the first time after they exchanged phone number at that fated party, Seongwoo sent him a message.

The butterflies on his stomach were having a party the moment he realized the sender. But his world turned upside down as he read the content.

> _Hi! This is Ong Seongwoo. I’m glad I still am keeping your number._
> 
> _Meeting you again today is like a fateful event for me. And I really need your help._
> 
> _If you don’t mind, can you tell me Daniel’s phone number? I forgot to ask him before._
> 
> _Thanks! And let’s hang out together sometime!_
> 
> _Seongwoo._

Jaehwan gripped his phone tightly.

He thought bitterly, life is indeed unfair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, that's the first chapter for this story.  
> I hope you guys like it. >//<  
> I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes. English is not my mother language, so any help for proof-reading this story is very very welcome~!! 
> 
> Comments and Ideas are so much welcome!  
> Thank you ^^


	3. Chapter 2 - The(ir) First Date

Jaehwan readjusted his brown apron, with two cute squirrels linking their arms together on the chest as the logo for coffee shop he’s working at. He made his way out of the locker room when Daniel who had just finished his shift met him in the hallway. He mumbled a ‘good work for today’ as the slightly younger man heading inside.

“Today is no joke, hyung! So packed with customer. Even I feel bad to leave you at this kind of busy time,” Daniel said, shaking his head to show his disbelief at the crowd out there.

“It’s Friday Night, what do you expect?” stating a matter of fact, Jaehwan didn’t mean to sound so cold even though it ended up sound that way.

Daniel just laughed, to his relief, because if Daniel was to notice the coldness in his tone, it’d be freaking awkward and he wouldn’t be able to handle the situation. He sighed to himself and flashed a cheeky smile at Daniel before excusing himself to take over Daniel’s post at the register.

Jaehwan sing sang, “Customers are waiting, waiting.”

_Ong Seongwoo is waiting._

Jaehwan stopped on his track when he almost reached the register and saw the ever so beautiful man named Ong Seongwoo standing in front of the counter, lips slightly pouting as his eyes were scanning the menu on the board, thinking about what he should drink, probably.

Jaehwan was hesitated and for a split second the thought of running back inside, but then why would he need to hide? It was not like he did anything wrong to the guy or something embarrassing. So he got himself together and took a deep breath before he stepped up and welcomed the man, ready to take his order.

Seongwoo smiled as Jaehwan made his appearance, no,  his heart just didn’t skip two times faster at that smile, of course he didn’t feel blush creeping up his cheeks, definitely not.

“Uh,” Seongwoo started, eyes swimming, looking at everywhere but Jaehwan.

 _Is he looking for Daniel?_ Jaehwan thought.

“Daniel just finished his shift but he’s still in the backroom, I guess, if he’s what you’re looking for?” he offered.

And finally, finally those dark eyes met his. And Jaehwan hated it that he was able to tell that the guy blushing the seconds Daniel’s name being mentioned. Oh God, Jaehwan didn’t want to deal with it right now, so he pointed at the customer waiting behind Seongwoo, just hurry up and go.

“Uh, I’d like to have Small Hot Vanilla Latte, make it two,” Jaehwan nodded and input his order diligently, “And of course I know Daniel’s shift is over, we’re about to going out for dinner and I think he’s practically waiting for me out there.”

Seongwoo talked fast Jaehwan was almost failing to understand it but sadly he did and he couldn’t help but thinking about how could they…  and dinner? Already?? Jaehwan’s left hand gripped the counter tight until his knuckles turned white.

“Do you want to order something else?” Jaehwan asked, without looking at Seongwoo, his eyes were glued to the register machine as if it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen.

“No, but I want to thank you,” Seongwoo replied immediately, clearly didn’t want to waste another time now that Daniel was waiting outside huh?

Raising his eyebrow, he honestly confused why he deserved the thank you from Seongwoo. Until the phone number thing was mentioned, and it hit him hard. It was a week ago, and not that he had forgotten about it but he didn’t expect Seongwoo to personally come to thank him, or was it actually a big thing he did there for them?

Another fact hit him harder this time. _It had just been a week and now they’re going on a date already??_

“I meant it when I said we should hang out together sometime. Three of us, or just the two of us, you can decide,” Seongwoo spoke the last sentence almost inaudibly.

“Two cups of Small Hot Vanilla Latte, that would be six bucks,” Jaehwan said, wanting to end this conversation quickly. Besides, the queue was getting long and he didn’t want to lose customers like ones on the coffee rush game he played if they waited too long and lost their hearts.

“Okay, here,” Seongwoo handed him ten dollars and when Jaehwan gave the change, Seongwoo put them into the tips box and smiled at Jaehwan. “Call me, ok?”

“I will.”

Even the words sound so faked in his ears. He didn’t know if he would call the man or not. For now, that would do. He waved as Seongwoo bid his farewell and went to the next counter to retrieve his order. Jaehwan kept locking his gaze at the man’s back, leaving the shop, and his sight. Following him still as Seongwoo closed the glass door and turned left, somewhere around the corner Daniel might be waiting for him.

Jaehwan sighed, letting out frustration out of his system. Clutching the apron right on his chest where the squirrels were embroidered.

Okay, this isn’t good. He’s nobody to either Daniel or Seongwoo. He was just someone who happen to know the two of them and accidentally introduced them to each other, and he was only giving out Daniel’s phone number. He might be checking out Seongwoo once and secretly admiring him and wishing he was the one in Daniel’s shoes right now. He might be once Daniel’s co-worker, and good friend who had a crush on him, just a little though. So yeah, he knew very well he had no right to be angry at them for having dinner while he had to spend his Friday night working his ass off, dealing with customers who were frowning in annoyance because the stupid guy at the register didn’t pay any attention to them.

“Are you going to take my order or do you still wanna keep watching that guy who probably has left long ago, if you don’t see him disappeared behind that door? Because I’m just a second away to ask for your manager to come down here.”

Jaehwan snapped back to reality and hurriedly bowed more than 90 degree and apologized for his behavior. He made a mental note to call Minhyun-hyung during his break later and ask the older out for a drink.

He just had to get his shift done for now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, I'm sorry!  
> I will post more when I have the time to check my draft.  
> and because I have to re-write most of it, the update will be a bit slower than I intended to.  
> Contemplating to write the story in a fast pace but I really don't like the outcome. Their relationship develop too fast that way, too fast to my liking. So, please be patient with me.  
> Thank you for your nice comments, they made me happy! ;D


	4. The Talk

It's a month after Daniel and Seongwoo, met. And it's their third date, when Seongwoo mentioned the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard in his life.

 

“Say it again, Hyung,” Daniel asked for the second time, just in case he misheard it.

 

“I said, I think you have _feeling_ for Jaehwan.”

 

If Seongwoo’s face hadn’t looked so damn serious, Daniel would think it was just another joke the older threw randomly as usual. There’s no need for Daniel to feel offended or angry whatsoever over the older’s accusation because it’s just plain absurd and baseless. If only that’s just really the case.

 

However, heat creeps in and Daniel can’t hide the flustered cheeks on his face. What Seongwoo said is ridiculous but they aren’t completely false. Daniel _did_  have a thing for Jaehwan. Some kind of feeling he couldn't quite comprehend, that he didn't know which category he should put it into.

 

If Daniel would be honest, he’s just too scared to name his feeling for Jaehwan. After all this time they’re together, spending so much time together and he is genuinely enjoying those moments with Jaehwan. He’s growing fond of the other, actually. But then Daniel is such a helpless romantic who often falls in love so easily to anyone, anything he thinks rather cute and funny. Jaehwan is one of those things.

 

He deliberately avoiding to call it something because he knows it probably just a fling, something unreal and he gets bored eventually. He is being extra careful since Jaehwan is his best friend, whom he relies on so much for pretty much _anything_. Jaehwan is his co-worker and college friend. So he, at any cost, won’t put his friendship with Jaehwan at risk.

 

It wasn’t easy at first, but then Daniel started to get used to it. He's able to suppress his own feeling. He's been telling himself that it is indeed a _fling_.

 

Until of course, now that Seongwoo mentioned it. _Of all people, why would his crush find out his_   _dying love_ _towards Jaehwan?_  Now that Daniel is really head over heels for Seongwoo, it really scares him if this will ruin what they have started to build.

 

He fell for Seongwoo’s visual at first, those dark eyes that lured him and his smooth flirts got Daniel weak in a second. The guy doesn’t particularly subtle at all about his intention and is straight forward when it comes to what he wants. A simple but pretty blunt of a text of _“I like you. Is it Ok to ask you out for a date or two?”_ was proving that. Daniel was surprised to receive his text, let alone with such contents, right after that day they accidentally met at the café. But Daniel knew he’s already whipped so why not take the chance?

 

A month of getting to know Seongwoo, he’s been the sweetest and funniest guy Daniel has ever met. He found that Seongwoo is one year older and a fourth year student from Acting Department. He’s flirty and vivacious, but in a fun way that Daniel often finds himself get the secondhand embarrassment and how he loves Seongwoo’s expression when he sees him laughing over that. He cherishes the time he spent with the older as the time passed by. And he falls deeper and deeper for him.

 

He doesn’t want to lose this great man.

 

This brings Daniel to become hesitant to give answer to Seongwoo’s question, oh well Daniel knows it wasn’t a question and Seongwoo isn’t looking for an answer because he’s only saying a truth, a fact that Daniel should admit, or deny.

 

Two ways to get out of this situation and Daniel thinks of the best way out of the available options. Both choices force him to put his relationship with Seongwoo at risk. Let’s say that he denies it, judging by the look on Seongwoo’s face, Daniel can tell that the older is so sure of it and will he ever believe whatever excuses Daniel might come up with, and again, Daniel is so bad at lying. But if he admits to it, which means he’s not only admitting his feelings towards Jaehwan to Seongwoo, but also to himself, Daniel doesn’t know what to do anymore. As if all of his efforts are going to waste. And what about him and Seongwoo? Admitting that he _does_ have feelings for Jaehwan, wouldn’t it push Seongwoo away from him? He wouldn’t want to be with someone whose feelings torn apart.

 

“You’re so deep in thought, so I take it as a _yes_?”

 

Seongwoo interrupted his train of thoughts. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, looking around to see people passing by on the streets, a grandma and her granddaughter crossing the road, a couple walking side by side with their arms linking, speeding vehicles as the traffic lamp turns green… he never takes time to closely observing his surrounding like he does now, because his mind won’t cooperate with his heart and he hates to think about losing Seongwoo. Besides, he is unsure of Jaehwan so yeah, he can’t risk what he have now.

 

He slowly reaches out for his cup, sipping the now watery black coffee, clearly he had wasted so much time indulged in his own world that the ice cube melted and ruined the taste of his Americano.

 

“Ahh,” He started, “I don’t, no, what makes you think like that? He’s my friend and I like him no more than that.”

 

Seongwoo _sighs_.

 

Daniel is anxious because he can’t recognize the sigh escaped from Seongwoo was a relief sigh or a disappointed sigh? He knows it. It’s a bad idea to even try lying to him.

 

Leaning his back against the couch, Seongwoo’s eyes never leave Daniel’s, the older bites his lower lip. “I don’t know why you even tempted to make such a lie when you’re so bad at it, Daniel-ah?” Seongwoo said as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. In an instant Daniel feels like a kid who gets scolded after caught red-handed stealing a candy from the store, his shoulder hunched, and he feels something unpleasant in his stomach.

 

If he could turn back the time, he would redo the whole things and tell Seongwoo the truth. But he can’t. Is it too late now to take back what he said and ask Seongwoo for forgiveness?

 

“I…”

 

“Did you lie because you’re afraid I’d get upset and might be running away from you, crying over the-guy-I-have-crush-on-is-actually-into-someone-else’s-pants?” Daniel does try to protest but Seongwoo cuts him off again even before he can open his mouth. “I might be petty at times, but your fear is unnecessary.”

 

Daniel looks up at him.

 

“I like Jaehwan, too. Have been eyeing him since long before we met,” Seongwoo says, confessing his feelings so easily as if it's just acceptable to like two persons at the same time. “I’ve been on my observation as well. The way Jaehwan looks at me, looks at you, _us_ … The jealousy is crystal clear if you try to step out and see it from outside of our own view. I can say that our feelings are reciprocated.”

 

“What are you trying to say?”

 

Seongwoo smiles seductively, placing his hand on Daniel’s thigh, painfully close to his crotch. “What about inviting him in?”

 

Daniel’s confused to the extent that his speak fails him. He can't even form a word as his mind is busy trying to process Seongwoo's suggestion. 

 

Therefore Seongwoo goes on, leaning forward so that he can whisper right into Daniel’s ears.

 

“Do you mind _sharing_ me with Jaehwan?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that OngNiel fic (that begged to be written) is finished, I'm back with this OngNielHwan fic.  
> I'm so sorry that my writing is so inconsistent because really, I'm struggling with English ><  
> Thanks to @TheSilverDream again for helping and listening to my rant lol. 
> 
> Thanks for putting up with me though! Really mean it~


	5. [Announcement]

Hi, everyone! 

Right, you hate it right when you saw [announcement] being posted on a story? I do too ^^;   
Because it's never a good news. At least, so far, being in several fandoms, [announcement] post is hardly about a good news.

But, I still have to do it...   
First, I'm sorry that it is not an update.   
Second, I'm sorry again that I have to tell you, that I will drop this series. 

I was writing this story out of impulsive acts, and not thinking it through. There was no plot or story planned. I was considering to rewrite the whole things.  
I've thought about its ending and how I would like to write it. But it's hard to start writing another series.   
My new job is hectic and I have to work overtime almost every day. There are times when I'm still at the office at 1 in the morning.   
Besides that, I've been struggling with myself and my negative thoughts.   
I'll stop talking about it or else this would end up being a depressing post ^^;;  
What I'm trying to say is, I've decided to go on HIATUS.   
I don't know when will I come back.   
So I would like to say thank you so much to everyone who read my stories, leaving kudos and comments. They're all my motivations, not only to write more,  
but also it makes me feel good, that I actually made something that people enjoy reading them. Sharing thoughts. Sharing emotions.   
I feel at least, there's something I could do for others, that I'm not that useless.   
I enjoy every small interaction in the comment section. Both in my stories, and other awesome authors' where I rambling my thoughts, or just simply whining, and crying for an update. Again, thank you so much.   
Please live well. Please be healthy. Please be happy. 

Well then. See you again, everyone~ ♡

**Author's Note:**

> I just... I just had to make Jaehwan miserable here, forgive me.. T^T  
> I'll make Jaehwan feel better though! /crossfingers
> 
> Comments and suggestions are very welcome! Thank you~


End file.
